Extended Weekend
by Lady Lemonade
Summary: After Kouji wins a fantasmic prize of six tickets for a two-week getaway, Takuya gets excited and ready to go! Journal in hand, he is ready to give his mother all the juicy but censored facts! ...unfortunately. Koukuya, Kouichi/Izumi


Pegzy's Notes: I am so sorry I did this… -Weeps- I AM NOT BUT REGRETS!!  
Disclaimer: AHAHAHA like I own anything… bloody people are out of your minds. OUT I SAY!!

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August 21, 20XX:  
All right, so Kouji won us these amazing tickets to an island get-away. However, he won six tickets instead just two so no "just us" romantic get-away. But that's fine, because we'll be amongst friends and we all know when the other wants some alone time. Kouji, Kouichi, and I are all hanging out tonight and we leave out tomorrow morning. My mom wanted a full account (minus the hot and steamy nights I'm sure Kouji and I will share, heh) of it all, so I'll just write events in here every night. Sounds easy, right? Just a dreamy, two-week trip…

August 22, 20XX:  
I really hate Kouji.  
No. Really. Hate. Kouji. No hot and steamy nights for him. We arrive at the docks, and we see the drop-dead gorgeous cruiser. Ship. Thing. Our ride to the islands, basically. Well, la-tida! We found out why they gave away so many tickets as part of the deal. Because no one will willingly partake in this cruise of his or her own free will. Mom, did you know what weekend it was!? If you did, why didn't you warn us? You sick, sick woman! It was The Otaku's Weekend. And not just any Otaku's! Neigh! Like a horse! IT WAS THE FANFICTION OTAKU'S WEEKEND!  
So we're surrounded by a bunch of fangirling women, and the occasional fanfiction-writing man who only came because for some reason the men have a hope the women will stop groping each other and go after them.  
Hahahah. I hate Kouji. So much…!

August 22, 20XX (Updated):  
Scratch that. The men are here to grope each other (and me apparently).

August 22, 20XX (Updated – yes, again)  
Once more, scratch my earlier comments. I love Kouji. That guy will never be the same now… Also, Izumi has taken up rights of protecting Tomoki's innocence. I tried, but she said her "maternal" instincts would keep him safe.  
If Tomoki weren't like a little brother to me, I'd say this ought to be good… but the poor child's sanity is at stake here!

August 23, 20XX:  
Kouji was extremely annoyed at me last night. See original August 22nd post to understand, and my being angry with him. Access denied, bitch. Sorry mom, I know you asked me to keep the vulgar language to a minimum but… this is so disappointing, you know? Also, as I write this some chick is babbling to me about some anime I could really care less about. So WHAT if Kanda is flirting with Lenalee? The manga-ka has a choice to decide who gets paired up with whom, and she shouldn't get so uppity that Kanda isn't making out with Allen in some corner.  
Though, I can't really blame her. Kanda is HOT! (I have a thing for guys with long black hair in ponytails, what can I say?)

August 24, 20XX:  
Kouji was denied access again. Seven other occasions. Sg n flwetg w Err, eight now.  
Weno y;er'h  
Okay, continuing this later…

August 24, 20XX:  
Escaped lusty Kouji. For now. I'm hanging with Izumi, who seems to be doing a fairly good job of protecting Tomoki. And by fairly, I mean she's protecting him from all the shouta fans and that's about it. After speaking with him, he's all ready seen a threesome, a woman get drunk and recite Shakespeare, and dolphins work their magic in the ocean around us. All in all, I think he may be more so traumatized by the dolphins than the other two but I won't know for another few years when the effects start to show in his everyday behavior and preferences.  
Oh, goody. Junpei's doing cannibals in the water and… he just landed on someone's head. Great. Just great. Well, someone is going to be paying serious hospital bills.  
You know, I haven't seen Kouichi at all since we left. Huh.

August 25, 20XX:  
Had to knee Kouji where it hurts. Oh no, he wasn't trying anything with me. No, apparently since I won't "put out" as he so kindly worded it, he was sniffing elsewhere. Pervert. That ought to teach him to keep it in his pants until I'm good, ready, and less angry with him.  
Aside from that, the day wasn't too eventful. I got to relax next to the cruise ships pool, before celebrating with Izumi, Tomoki, and Junpei we were heading back because apparently the person Junpei landed on needed serious medical attention. The chick's living, but she needs to be in a hospital ASAP.

August 27, 20XX:  
Why can't I be happy, mom? This all started out like a fun getaway, and now… this. Surrounded by crazy people, Kouji's as angry at me as I am at him, and now the ship hit an iceberg that was floating freely through the ocean for some sick reason. The ship didn't sink though – we just so happened to be close enough to an island to get to shallow enough water it didn't go down.  
But you know, all of this sounds way too convenient for me. I mean, a ship full of fanfiction authors. Somehow, I get the feeling one of them is typing away everything that's happening… even as I write this.  
Oh, goody. Now the natives are approaching us. They better be friendly…

August 28, 20XX:  
Actually, the natives were incredibly violent and attempting to kill us. Until they saw Kouichi, whom I swear appeared out of nowhere and they started to worship him. They saw Kouji, but didn't care about him near as much as Kouichi. Not that I blame them right now. I'm angry with Kouji too.  
But that isn't the point. So now Kouichi is their god or something, and we're permitted to share their island. Kouichi worked out all the peace negotiations - it was amazing. I never knew he had it in him.

August 29, 20XX:  
Kouji and I are still at a standstill. At least he knows better than to flirt with others. I taught him his lesson quite nicely. Stupid Kouji. He's in almost all of my entries!  
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE him!  
Mommy… save me.

August 30, 20XX:  
I never realized a week has really passed. But here it is, in my log. We set out the 22nd, and now it's the 30th. Well, anyway the natives are really nice. You know, now that they aren't trying to kill us and they worship Kouichi. Who also seems to have come into the possession of a DeathNote. But I doubt it's a real one. You can get those props at a store, online, convention, and all kinds of other places. But I bet the natives don't know that. Heh. Smart usage of propaganda, Kouichi!  
Still hate Kouji. Just gave some wrench a bunch of flowers. He never gave ME flowers…  
…I want flowers…

August 31, 20XX:  
I stand horribly corrected. Three people have died of a heart attack since we arrived, and I don't think it's coincidental. Especially considering all three of those people was perfectly healthy.  
Mom, I think that might not be a prop of Kouichi's… but its okay! Those three people were trying to start an uprising against the natives (I'm not sure why), and then they died. And, I mean… it isn't like Cherubimon still has control over Kouichi. Or Lucemon. Hahah, of course not. Things of the past…  
…I still haven't gotten any flowers from Kouji… I'm so sad on the inside…

September 1, 20XX:  
Really mom, I'm starting to wonder. Apparently Kouichi "accidentally" wrote down Junpei's name. First and last. You just don't accidentally write someone's name down in a DEATHNOTE. Do… do you think Lucemon is still alive? And maybe possessing Kouichi to kill people, and Kouji to have romantic walks at sunset with that stupid guy on the beach?  
And making Kouji never send me flowers, or be nice to me or…  
…I thought he looooved me. It was all a cruel lie!

September 2, 20XX:  
Today was… interesting. So apparently Izumi was to be wed to Kouichi? Who knew? I sure didn't. And then they adopted Tomoki, which I suppose is okay because at least now I know Tomoki will be safe. And then the ship captain managed to get in contact with someone, so rescue is on its way. Yay! I'd be more enthusiastic if I wasn't so convinced Kouji is smitten with that island guy. Stupid island guy… what's he have, that I don't? Skimpy clothing? I can wear skimpy clothing… just… not comfortably, because it's awkward and weird. I'll win Kouji back! Somehow!

September 3, 20XX:  
Huge fight with Kouji. Much rather not tell you about it Mom. You're better off uninformed on this one.

September 4, 20XX:  
Woke up, and most everyone on the island was dead. Huh. Imagine that. Kouichi thinks it may have been a plague, but I dunno… last night's dinner was awful. I think that's what did it. Or Kouichi. Not that I'd tell him that in person.  
Held a funeral for Junpei. Or, err… we were supposed to. See, apparently he hadn't actually died, just fell unconscious from something, so we thought he was dead… but when he popped up as we were having his funeral, us remaining survivors thought he was a zombie and… the natives now call him "Basement Junpei."  
Turns out, they get a free wireless connection out here and know all about LOLCats and LOLDogs. It's amazing. Though I'm still trying to figure out what they use for a computer.

September 5, 20XX:  
Woke up next to Kouichi. That was incredibly awkward. Izumi started beating me up, rambling about how she couldn't believe I mistook Kouichi for Kouji. How was I supposed to know? I was sleeping walking.  
And then she beat up Kouichi for not caring. The natives just watched their god get beaten up by his wife. Asked them about it, and they said it was normal for their women to do that so its… only natural it happens to their idol as well? I just don't understand it.  
But it really was awkward. Kouichi's fun to cuddle with though. You know, in case you were curious.

September 6, 20XX:  
Another fight with Kouji. Worst than last one.

September 6, 20XX (Updated):  
Kouichi and Kouji got into a fight. It resulted in Izumi mud wrestling with Kouji.  
I have very mixed feelings about watching this.

September 6, 20XX (More updates):  
I never knew Izumi wore thongs!

September 13, 20XX:  
Sorry about not writing for a while. During the mud wrestling, a bunch of people got excited and it turned into one huge event. Apparently I got knocked out somehow, and I get the feeling Junpei was involved. On accident, anyway. Woke up in a nice, comfy bed and learned our rescue team arrived. Thank heavens! And Kouji was so sweet… he was right there by me, asking me if I was all right with FLOWERS. I was so touched, I punched him in the face and told him what an asshole he was.  
He took it pretty well. Probably would have been worse if he hadn't been occupying himself by reading this little journal for you, ma. I had to punch him a second time, because he was complaining about my tense. Bastard. I can write my own journals how poor or nicely I want!  
But he explained everything. He was practicing his more romantic side with the confused native, because he FINALLY caught on that hot and steamy nights weren't going to happen if he was always a jerk. And now, we're on our way back home. Last entry, see you soon!!

September 13, 20XX (Special Update):  
Found that bitch that ruined my vacation. Some chick named "Hyper Pegasus" who goes under the alias of Lady Lemonade. We'll just say she won't be writing too many more fanfictions after this, heh.  
Oh yeah, and Kouji finally got his hot and steamy night. I was amazed. I didn't know he could DO those things! What you ask? Well, you DID tell me not to include those details for you…


End file.
